Amber is.........

sleeping. Wake me when I'm dead.

Happy Birthday Brooke!!

It is my sister Brooke's birthday! She is MUCH older than me, like by 15 years I think! Okay, maybe not that much older. I can't wait to go visit here this weekend! She lives in Rexberg, Idaho but is soon to move to Idaho Falls, which is closer to her work. Which is kind of sad, I'll miss the Bat Cave that she lives in now. My favorite memory of my sister Brooke is one at Christmas time when she was in high school. I had this Christmas stocking that when you pushed the button it would say "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas!". Well the batteries were dying and so you would get this long drawn out "Hooooo, Hooooo, Hooooo! Merrrrrry Chrrrrrrriiiiiisstmaaaaaas!". Well on Christmas morning, she was sitting back against the wall pulling out presents from the back of the tree when the stocking decided to wish her a Merry Christmas! She came flying out from behind the tree with a panicked, confused look on her face. I still get tears from laughing so hard at the memory! Its the only thing that makes me feel better after I hear her say "Tara is my favorite sister, Tracey is my second favorite and I don't have a third". Happy Birthday Brooke!!

These Quiet Moments..........

I just finished a hair cut on one of the boys in the group home. He got up early this morning in hopes I could cut his hair before I took him to his Mother's funeral. Its been a sad few days. I found out about his mother on Saturday & he was just told yesterday. It is sad to hear of someone ending their own life by their own hands. I've had several conversations with this kid since hearing about his mother. He's laughed, smiled and joked around with me. Its been weird knowing that his whole world is about to change and that its going to be a while before I see him smile, laugh or joke around again. I never expect these things to affect me much, the reality of the situation is that I didn't know her. But for whatever reason, this has really made an impact and I'm not quite sure why. But as I went about cutting his hair and attempted to take his mind off of what the day held for him, I kept going back to how sad it is that this young cute kid, would never be touched by his mother again. He would never be hugged by her again. She'd never ruffle his hair again. And what was even more saddening was the fact that she hadn't done any of these things in months. And again, the reality of the situation is that this was a blessing in disguise for him. And as I had all these thoughts running through my head he asked me if it was alright if he just sat with me until it was time to go. I'm sure I gave him a perplexed look because he followed that up with, its nice to just be able to sit and think around you.
I know when I was offered this position last summer, that it was where I needed to be. I have had no doubt that I was meant to be in this home at this time. This has been one of several quiet moments where I knew this is why I am where I am. That I was meant to help a lost little spirit find a place where they could think.

Happy May!!

I spent the majority of the month of May playing! I went to visit Tara and her family in Fayetteville, North Carolina for about a week. Her house is just beautiful! I love her dark hard wood floors! And her big backyard with the huge deck. North Carolina was beautiful, the weather was gorgeous! I'd love to go back and spend more time exploring the area. But we had to get back for Dahl & Haley's wedding. We flew home on a HORRIFIC airline, Yeah that's right! I'll say it again! I HATE DELTA!! They lost our luggage and Tara's two dogs!! They're IDIOTS!! Anyway we made it back and our luggage was finally found and we were able to go on with the wedding festivities! Dahl & Hayley were married in the Manti Temple. And then followed up with a reception at The Bungalow in Pleasant Grove. It was a beautiful reception center. They had an indoor area to sit down and eat and then a beautiful garden area where they had a line with both sets of parents and outdoor tables to sit at. Their colors were really fun along with the cake. I arrived a bit late, I know shocking! But in my defense! I did get up at 7:30 am to watch 11 kids and they didn't return to pick up their kids until almost 5 pm. I had to go home and get dolled up. Or at least less smelly!! But the reception was beautiful. They both looked fantastic and it was fun to meet Hayley's family. After we survived the Wedding we moved right into Piper's Baby Blessing. We left for Logan on Friday afternoon. And had a fun weekend riding horses, chasing Buffalo and staying off the alfalfa. Piper's blessing was very inspiring. She is such a special little girl. Like her sister she was blessed to have a love of animals. She was blessed with the gift of music in her life and to reach out to her grandmothers to teach and encourage her. She was also blessed to learn about her ancestors. To learn about them and find out who they are. It was a beautiful blessing and wonderful time to spend with family.

Bugged.......Bugged........Bugged!!

This blog isn't going to make any sense at all. But here goes........I think we're all here in this world for each other just as much as for ourselves. How can we find out who we are if we're not helping those around us find out who they are? And how many times have you found yourself knowing the exact thing to say to that exact person at that exact time knowing that you just found a little piece of you in the words you just shared with someone else? I know sometimes I think I know who I am or I have a good glimpse of the person I'm on my way to being, and its usually when I'm focused on trying to help someone else find out who they are. I know I've been given specific tasks to preform in this world and I know that they always revolve around others. And I also know that I've been given the skills and tools in which to preform them with. I know that I am meant to succeed in these tasks. But what happens when you feel you're supposed to help someone and you aren't sure how you're to go about doing that? And what happens if someone else decides to step in and take over that role? And you just don't trust them to be the best person for the task. And you're afraid they'll do more damage than good. How do you fight over who is supposed to help someone? It seems so weird to me. I know they've stepped in to help because they want to be closer to the person they're helping, but I can't help but feel its all self-serving. And you can't help anyone if you're looking to help yourself or if you have a motive to why you're helping. Is this an area where I need to stand up and not let "helping hands" take over? Have you ever felt like you needed to fight for your role in this world or fight for the position you play in someones life? Is that denying someone else the opportunity to learn and grow themselves?

Happy Birthday Hunter!!

Its Hunters Birthday! He's the one on the left in case you don't know who he is! That's his twin, Broc, on the right. They both are so much fun! They have a lot in common. They have a love of Spiderman, well any superhero really, they both love their Wii's and they both come off with some of the funniest comments. I think my favorite comment that Hunter has ever said was "I'm a Freakin' Genius". He is one super cool kid!! Happy Birthday Hunter!!

Broc's Birthday

I meant to put this post up last week but once again time has eluded me. Broc just turned 8 years old! He is one special kid, and I don't mean that in a Special Ed kind of way. I got to talk to him on his birthday and he was nice enough to catch me up on all the latest Wii games and all the cool moves to kill your enemies with. I think it was C,C,Up then Down. I can't wait to go visit Broc and his family next month!! Happy Birthday Big Guy!!

Piper is Here!

I wish I had a picture of Piper to display but I don't. I finally was able to see her last night. I was supposed to go up last weekend and spend 3 days with Shad N' Shay but due to Bronchitis and a cracked rib I had to stay home. But all is good! I finally met Piper and she is one of the cutest little babies I have ever seen. She has curly dark brown hair and olive skin and is quiet. And her sister Eve said I could keep her and she could live at my house!

My Favorite Little Gangster!

Monte is my Favorite Little Gangster of all time! We were lucky enough to have dinner with him last night. Of course we took him to Chili's! He's never been there and we love going there! Monte has such a special place in my world. He's the first person I call when I need a translation on any ghetto talk or slang that I don't understand. He's also the first person I'd call if I ever needed someone bumped off! Its good to have this kind of connection!! He has such a big heart and has such an understanding of how important family is. I've learned so much from him. And I've had so many laughs with him. If he could get one question answered it would be "Why did your Mom send you away to live with the Nuns?". And of course he'd only want to hear the answer from my Mom. Which he is convinced is NOT dead, contrary to what I tell him. He never really bought into the whole "My Mom lives in Heaven and I get to dial 1-800-Heaven to talk to her everyday". He's such a little smarty pants! Monte is currently getting enrolled in College. I'm hoping he has the stamina to see himself through Law School, he'll make one AMAZING Lawyer! He can talk his way out of just about anything and find any kind of loop hole to jump through. Happy Birthday Monte!!

February.......I must have missed it

Has anyone seen February? I can't seem to find it. Where did it go? Half my family has birthday's in this month, and I misssed them all. I made it to Trent's birthday but only long enough to say hello and then goodbye. And just so everyone knows, I'm sitting in Clinical and we're all on our laptops and I looked over at Allyson and suddenly felt better that she was looking up the latest Celebrity Gossip. Apparently something is going on with Gwenyth Paltrow's website. Anyway, February is about gone and I can't remember where it went and if I missed your birthday I'm really sorry. Sometimes listening to boys talk about how well they're doing in our program drives me nuts. Especially when they have to read a letter about how well they've done and they keep skipping over words because they can't read their own handwriting. But on the giggly side, I do love listening to their Therapists rip into them about how ridiculous they sound.

Down the Slopes Again!!

And back up the mountain we went again! This was my second trip, I had to miss last week due to staff not being responsible enough to show up for their own shift, stupid staff. Anyway, my second trip was good! I didn't do as well as I did the first time up, but that's okay, I was trying to do more tricks this time, like S-turns and traverse something a ruther. But it was fun! I picked up new boots to use and it made a HUGE difference! Hopefully I'll get to go back up tomorrow to practice some more!

Down the Slopes!!

Last Wednesday was my first time down the slopes on a SnowBoard! I have to say it was fantastic!! I made it down the hill without killing myself but what was better was that I made it down without falling!! It was amazing! We go back up this Wednesday again and hopefully it'll go as smooth if not smoother!

Vacation Time!!

Ask me where I'll be one week from today!! That's right! I'll be in Florida! Visiting Tara and her family. We're going to the Keys. But I have to tell you I'm more excited to spend the day at DisneyWorld! We went there two years ago and had a blast! And just to let you know how excited I really am, I sitting in a Lead Mtg totally ignoring what is being said, so that I can blog about my up coming vacation. I'm trying to think if anyone other than family and friends know about my blog. Anyway, I'm really excited and can't wait! I can't wait to get away from the icky snow, the bratty boys, and my messy room!!